What A Man
by Crazii Choco
Summary: The title of this story becomes sarcasm all over when Double D goes to drastic measures to be with the one he loves... Dramatic at the beginning, but the rest of the story is funny.
1. Blooming Love, like pansies!

_Omg! My first-ever fanfic! And it's about Ed, Edd 'N' Eddy, which is a show I've loved for years 3… I've only done 1 chapter so far, so hope you like it! If you've got any suggestions to help me improve this chapter, please tell me! I'm open to suggestions )! If you read this, then thanks soo much:)! xxxx_

**Edd stumbled through a bush of soft and colorful flowers. With his amount of knowledge he managed to identify them; they were pansies. Edd felt odd. He'd never been to this place before; it was like a dream…**

**Edd continued to travel through more bushes of beautiful flowers until he came to a gigantic, open field. The sun shone on the flourishing green grass which moved in small waves because of the gentle wind.**

**He felt isolated; he felt lonely. No-one was there to accompany him. But all the same, it felt right to keep moving through this lush, green grass.**

**The field never seemed to end; and Edd could see nothing but hills around him. He wanted to turn back and run to the cul-de-sac, where he belonged; but he couldn't. Something was stopping him. Something wanted him to stay in the huge field.**

**It was like he was being pulled by a magnet; he had to keep moving. He carried on in the field until he stopped at a point on some raised land; right in front of him was the biggest hill he'd ever seen.**

**He was lost in his own thoughts; and waiting for something that he thought might not ever come. But he was determined for it to come; he knew it _had _to come.**

**And it did… **

**On the top of the humongous hill right in front of him, Edd could see a shadow appearing. The shadow was followed by something Edd had seen before; but his vision was fazed and he couldn't work out what it was. Although he couldn't work out what the "thing" was, he felt like he knew it well and that it was friendly. There was nothing to be afraid of. Things were going to be fine.**

**But as the thing began moving further down the hill and closer to him… Edd's vision began to clear and he slowly began to realize what the thing was. He now felt like he always did when he saw the thing; his stomach began to churn, sweat began to seep from his forehead and he felt nerves flicker like lightning in his guts and back. **

**The thing wouldn't go away; it was getting closer, and he'd have to talk with it. He'd be a total mess; he always was whenever the thing got close. But this time, he was much more of a mess; his heart was beating faster than ever before; his hands were clammy with sweat; and he had to keep swallowing to stop his mouth from becoming too dry. **

**The thing was too close; it and Edd were the only ones in the whole field.**

**Edd wanted to run away; but his legs had turned to jelly. Not only that, but a strange feeling was gripping him and making him stay. He had never experienced this feeling before; but he had to give into it; it was love.**

**The thing or creature reached out to Edd and looked at him with its big, beautiful & seducing eyes. It was too late; Edd was already caught in the trap, and there was no way out of it…**

A shriek unlike one you'd ever heard before immediately broke the silent atmosphere in Eddy's bedroom. Double D woke up, shaking and drenched in sweat.

There was shuffling under Eddy's bed covers.

"What the-"

Ed woke up as Eddy switched his violet bed light on, and they both leaned over and stared at their petrified wreck of a best friend.


	2. The trouble with Dreams

_The 2nd Chapter! And this 1's a bit funnier than the 1st one I think. I know the first chapter was a little dramatic and not funny at all, but I'm gonna make the whole story get funnier later on :) okies. But I'm happy that you noticed the flaws and told me about them! Anyways, hope you like this chapter, once again, if you've got any ideas to help me improve the story so far, let me know! Thanksies ! x_

"Wake up Double D!" Ed said, dumbly poking away at Edd's head.

"He's awake, Ed! He's just not talkin'." Eddy said. He stared at Double D's face. "Are you alright, man?"

But Double D still didn't reply. He just stayed put in his sleeping bag on the floor of Eddy's bedroom, shaking away, still covered in sweat.

Ed suddenly gasped. "DOUBLE D HAS CAUGHT THE PLAGUE, EDDY! WE NEED TO FLEE THE COUNTRY!"

He started madly shaking Eddy, seriously worked-up and worried about his pal.

"Calm down will ya! I think it might just be a fever, or something…" Eddy suggested. Then he looked at Ed with a shocked face. "FEVER? LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!"

It was another one of those crazy Ed & Eddy moments. The boys started running all around the room, yelling at the top of their lungs, like they could not escape this dreadful fever. But that's when Double D snapped out of it and stopped all the commotion.

"Eddy! Eddy!" Double D started squeaking. When Eddy & Ed eventually heard Double D's cries for help and what-not they immediately calmed down. They were breathless, but much, much, calmer.

"Double D! You're alive!" Ed & Eddy both chimed, grabbing their friend and squeezing him perhaps a bit _too _tight.

"Aaaarrghh! I won't be in a minute!"

"Man, why did you scream so loud and wake us all up? I was just in the middle of dreaming I was rich, baby, rich!" Eddy said, almost drifting off to his favourite topic in the whole wide world… money.

"I had a dream too, Eddy." Double D said, in that sorta croaky-cute-quiet voice we all know and love. He sat down on the end of Eddy's bed to stable himself as his legs were still a bit jelly-like.

"And that's what woke me up. And it wasn't just scary, Eddy. It was _horrible_. Horrible, I tell you, _horrible_!"

In his own mind, Double D hadn't thought the dream was _completely_ horrible, because of that one sensation he'd always been waiting to feel… a feeling of love. But being as it had made him feel sick to his stomach, made him so sweaty and shaky he almost got ripped apart, made him have one of the worst nervous breakdowns he'd ever had, it had been a pretty scary, terrifying dream. But it was this new love that had caused all that…

Double D kept repeating that the dream had been horrid while grabbing hold of the neck-area of Eddy's pyjamas and staring right at his face (y'know what I mean, they do it all for emphasis and to show how they're feeling), but then Eddy knocked his hands off.

"Okay, okay. But how did this 'horrible' dream all start?"

"Was I in it, Double D?" Ed asked out of curiosity.

"No, Ed…" Double D sighed. "In fact, it was someone completely different—" his voice became more high-pitched and began to drift off as he thought about the 'thing' in the dream. Okay, now we know the 'thing' was a specific person. By the way, just mentioning that 'someone completely different' was in the dream bought tears to Double D's eyes. His love was so strong, so emotionally felt.

"_How did it all start_?" Eddy demanded, again. "I wanna know what was so 'horrible' and frightening as to disturb my beauty sleep."

"Well… it's gonna take quite a lot of explaining." Said Double D, and he began to wince as he told his two best friends about the dream.

"The dream began in a green place full of bushes… and on the bushes were flowers like… pansies, and roses, and… oh, wonderful rhododendrons!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Eddy said ignorantly, as he always does. "Just tell me the part which scared ya so much."

"This is gonna be hard, Eddy-" Double D said. He swallowed. He didn't know if he could tell them exactly what happened in the dream and how crazy his feelings had been. (Hey, that rhymes!) But he decided he must tell his best friends his lovey-dovey-all-nervous feelings that-he'd-never-felt-before even if it was gonna be the hardest thing in the World.

"I—I was in a field." He began, gulping some more. "And it was completely empty. But I saw somebody. Somebody I know. And we were the only ones in the field. And they started approaching me. Just everything was too much!"

(I have to say this, but Awwww. His eyes were watering to the very brim just as he was talking.)

"Who was the person, Double D, who was the person?" Ed started asking.

Double D felt like he couldn't tell them, but he had to. Even though Eddy was being snobby as usual and just worrying about his money-dreaming, Double D could tell that him and Ed were concerned and being himself Double D wanted to tell his best mates who he'd got so worked up over.

He took a deep breath.

…


	3. The feeling of loss

_Omg everyone I just wanna say thanks for all your great reviews :)! And sorry if writing the 3rd chapter took a bit of time… I'm slow! It's also 'cus I got a bit mixed up and I was unsure whether the storyline is really good… 'cus I think it's a bit crazy and I was worried that it's too much like a movie lots of people have probably seen. But I twisted the plot around a little, and I just hope everyone who reads this story likes it. If you don't, again please tell me ways I can improve it and if you can think of any great plot twists/ideas for the story then plleeeassee tell me about them!…thanks you guys, so much, and I just wanna say thanks to Fellow dork, mariopot (Omg, you really don't have to put my story on your favourites! That is way too nice of you! But thanks loads anyway) and DeadEdBoy especially for motivating me to update the story and stop drifting away by worrying about it too much… anyway, here's the 3rd chapter! xxx_

Double D sat glumly on the kerb outside Eddy's house. He didn't know why but now he felt totally miserable, and not to mention completely empty. He didn't even know why… but he felt like a part of him was missing.

He looked over at Ed & Eddy, and _especially _Eddy, who was once again trying to convince people that his old socks/salmon paste (don't ask)/saliva or whatever was worth _at least _1 or 2 dollars. But for some reason it didn't look like he was talking about the socks/salmon paste/saliva…

_OMG! _Double D thought, and he suddenly started panicking, _He better not be telling people about that… that DREAM I HAD LAST NIGHT!_

Once again he felt like he was going to have _yet _another panic attack… but then he heaved a huge sigh of relief because he remembered that he'd only told Ed & Eddy that the thing he had been frightened of in his dream was merely Rolf dressed up as a woman. Oh, how the two Ed boys laughed. Of course, seeing Rolf dressed as a woman could have been _pretty _scary, but Double D really wished he _had _seen that in his dream, other than who he really saw and the way in which it affected him.

He had wanted to tell his friends who the real person was; but something had made him change his mind, and something totally different had slipped out of his mouth. Well, the real person had been a girl, and that isn't _too _much like Rolf dressed up as the opposite gender, is it? (Goodness, I'm writing nonsense! P)

Anyways, so here Double D was sitting, still feeling depressed but he didn't even know why. Since he'd been staying the night at Eddy's house he'd also been offered super-sugared Chunky Puffs for breakfast there but had not eaten any. He didn't feel hungry at all.

(Love is a weird, crazy, mixed-up kinda thing, isn't it? I mean, it has the power to _actually _make people turn down a gorgeous, totally sweet, mouth-watering full-of-E-numbers bowl of Chunky Puffs!)

(PS it also had a big effect on Wayne from the Cramp Twins. You will know what I'm going on about if you watched that episode where he falls in love with that girl named Joanne who tries to fix Wendy's cars).

Anyway, I'm rambling on again. Back to the story…

Eddy's advertising for his pathetic product wasn't working at all. Double D could tell just by looking over and seeing that zilch people were at Eddy's socks/salmon paste/saliva stall. Everyone had left him, and the fact that everyone was now going back into their houses wasn't surprising.

It wasn't surprising either that everybody in the cul-de-sac was missing someone. That someone had moved away from the cul-de-sac about a week ago, and they'd left permanently to go and live somewhere else. The people that were closest to this person had been affected more than others; and _espiecially _boys had been affected.

It was almost like the cul-de-sac was a completely different place; and no-one in the place ever thought they would lose someone. Espiecially not the person who moved away… Now there wouldn't be any blushing, sweating, jelly legs or nervous melt-downs anymore… Especially not from the Ed boys.

And with all this sadness and the feeling of loss not just in the cul-de-sac but deep down inside him, Double D couldn't bear the idea of never seeing this person again. He had to do something.

…


	4. The plan Goes horribly wrong

_Chappie 4! And this time it's quite a lot longer than the other 3... I hope you like it! And you've probably all definitely guessed who that person is by now.. I'm sorry it's so predictable who it is! But I couldn't really think of anyone else.. But anyways thanks for all your brilliant reviews, I enjoyed reading them all & I really appreciate your comments :) ! And lol, AmarieC, they're not actually sleeping in the same bed.. lmao! Double D and Ed were in sleeping bag's on Eddy's floor and Eddy was in his bed (sorry if I didn't make that very clear, loool!) And to FanofDa'EdBoyz, I am trying to make the story more funny... I am kinda working up to the hopefully good comedy bits... Anyways, thanks everyone so much! Here's the 4th Chapter!_

Flick, flick, flick, went the pages in the Phone Directory book, whilst the surname of the person who Double D desired crazily went round and round in his head.

"_Come on, come on, come on!_" He whispered to himself, "It's gotta be in here!"

But no such luck. After searching endlessly through the directory, Double D let the pages flop on top of one another, and the big book collapsed onto the floor. Double D hopelessly slammed his head onto his desk, and wrapped his arms around his head. It was hurting with all of the hard work he'd done, plus he was tired.

No surprise. It was after 9'o clock, and Double D was meant to be asleep in bed. He normally had early nights, as you all know, and tonight it was like he had to keep working until he found the answer, _then_ he could sleep.

Never, on any other day, had he felt so stressed; so desperate; so insane; and most of all; so emotional. But maybe he was just hormonal? He wasn't sure.

He'd got home at 5:30, had dinner, and then started all his.. well, research. First of all, he'd looked all over the internet and e-mail directories, trying to find his very-much missed one & only (who'd been playing on his mind every second of the day), and because he'd had no luck there he madly began trying to remember where she said she was going to live, but that had just completely wrecked his brain and so he'd started looking through the Telephone Directory for her number… but no such luck at all.

He was going mad; mad, I tell you!

… But that's the power of love! (Dramatic Music)

Double D felt like he would give anything just to see her beautiful face again… just to look at her silky, always-brushed golden hair, and listen to that irresistible giggle she always, y'know, did… he wanted to talk to her so badly… just have some contact; and that was why he'd been searching for her e-mail address and phone number for the past 2 hours.

But then again was he crazy! If he talked to her, even if it wasn't to her face, he'd have a nervous breakdown about 10 thousand times the size of the breakdowns he used to have when she… well, lived in the cul-de-sac.

But it felt so right to try and have contact with her… and if he just practiced to become a bit more confident and braver…

But nothing was any use. And by that, I mean everything was no use (Lol, they mean the same thing, I'm such a dork… no, wait, that's calling the Ed boys stupid!)

So everything felt useless. There was nothing Double D could do. He decided to lay in his bed, restless, trying but failing again and again to think of ways he could at least see her again, or talk to her again…

He had to find out where she lived. It felt like the thing he was most aiming for, since looking for her number or e-mail address hadn't worked.

Suddenly, Double D had an excellent idea. Why hadn't the genius thought of it before? It was like an extremely bright light-bulb had just gone **Ping**! Above his head.

He could ask everyone in the cul-de-sac where his more-than-just-a-crush had moved to!

And it was going to be everyone. No exceptions. He _needed _to know where she lived (No, not in that stalking kind of way! But he was thinking about it… The lovesick hooligan!)

And that meant Jonny, Sarah, Rolf, _even_ Kevin, (spotted the missing person on the list yet?) Jimmy, _even_ Plank (spotted it _now_? Hint, hint!) and even his best buds Ed & Eddy.

And with that idea in mind Double D happily grabbed his tape recorder while he was in bed and began randomly listening to an experiment he'd recorded outside in the cul-de-sac a while ago. Oh, sweet success!

While Double D was grinning away for the first time that day, the tape was playing at a point which made Double D realize that _her_ voice had been recorded in the experiment. (Everyone had been playing outside at the time of the recording, you see, and _she_ hadn't moved from the place yet).

His heart melted just at the sound of her voice, and once again quite a few of the nervous breakdown effects started to take place. But, surprisingly few. Maybe he was becoming more brave and maybe, just maybe, when one day he got to speak to her again he _wouldn't _have a nervous breakdown?

It was when the side effects began to slow down when Double D realized there was someone else talking on the tape. They were talking to _her_, too.

For one of the first times ever, Double D felt a Double Twinge of jealousy. Why did he never speak to her much? Why couldn't he have properly fallen in love with her _before _she left, instead of now?

But then, as he listened on and heard their conversation clearly, he could've _kissed _the person who was talking to _her_ (okay, maybe not, 'cus it sounded like Kevin on the tape) all because it sounded like Kevin was asking her where she was moving to. Well, it sounded like this…

"So, where are you going?"

And in that voice that just made Double D shudder all over with love, that girl replied;

"Well, I'm sorta' going to a trailer park."

Although Double D was overflowing with joy and still, in his mind, madly thanking Kevin for asking the exact question he'd been planning to ask and also thanking himself for happening to do the experiment on _that _exact day, his thinking suddenly stopped to a halt. He was suddenly overcome with fear once again, and his body felt like it'd been completely frozen.

_Did she just say what I thought she said!_

Double D questioned himself nervously, his lip beginning to tremble. He immediately stopped the tape and rewinded it back to the point where Kevin started to ask _her _where she was moving to.

"So, where are you going?"

"Well, I'm sorta' going to a trailer park."

Double D's throat clenched, and that cute little sound Double D makes when he's terrified whistled out of his lips. He immediately stopped the tape, and scrambled out of his bed, once again, shaking all over (gosh, after all the nerves he'd experienced in one day I'm surprised there wasn't something horribly wrong with him).

But something _was_ wrong, very wrong; Double D vigorously plonked himself on his chair once again, still shaking away with nerves, and grabbed his nearby pocket map of the whole town he lived in. He opened it so fast with his sweaty hands that he nearly ripped a page, and it was on this page that Double D found the thing he was dreading;; and boy, was he _dreading _it!

**_Why _couldn't have Nazz just chosen to move to the heart of the town, _why _couldn't have Nazz just chosen to go to a simple place like the countryside, _why _couldn't have Nazz just stayed in the cul-de-sac for god's sake _when she'd gone and chosen to move to the place which had been marked in pen with a big red cross and a "DANGER: KANKERS!" sign for a reason!_**

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

…


	5. The Inspiring Squishy Stuff

_The 5th Chap! I'm really sorry I took so long to write it! I'm going to try and start speeding up on writing this story, but all the same keep track of my ideas and stuff... I just won't go too slow or too fast! Anyway hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm gonna start writing the 6th one very soon, and once again thanks for your comments! x :) x_

There was a familiar knocking noise coming from downstairs. It had been going on for some time now, and Double D had heard it in his half-asleep state.

Suddenly the knocking was accompanied by a very familiar voice.

"Double D! Where _are _you!" cried Eddy, and Double D dozily figured out that Eddy must've been knocking on his front door, wanting him to come outside.

But when Double D's eyes opened he realized he'd only just noticed Eddy was actually _waiting _for him to answer the door, and he was still in bed.

_What kind of person did Eddy think he was to call for Double D so early in the morning?_

Double D turned and slouched out of his bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking into his scientifical mirror.

He looked a total wreck; his face was pale and drawn, and he had big, grey bags under his eyes. He hadn't slept well at all last night.

The reason why? He'd been tossing and turning underneath his bed covers for about 4 hours after he'd found out his true love (Okay, you all know who she is now, so I might as well say her actual name). He'd been tossing and turning underneath his bed covers for about 4 hours after he'd found out that Nazz had moved to the place he (and especially the other Ed boys) would _never_, ever want to go;;

(Dramatic Music (again)) THE TRAILER PARK!

(Yes, and I mean _THE _TRAILER PARK!)

Double D felt very depressed, and of course, shattered. He even thought he might've felt more depressed than the day before, when his crazed love for Nazz first began.

What was worse was that a song by Meatloaf kept going round and round in his head, associating with the fact that he wanted to see Nazz so badly, but to do that he had to take the risk of trudging through _the _Trailer Park.

"And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that… No I won't do that…"

The singing in Double D's exhausted mind was suddenly disturbed when Double D realized Eddy was _still _banging away at his front door.

"DOUBLE D! Open up, will ya!" Eddy kept shouting, and then it began to sound like he was biting his lip and trying hard not to laugh. "Me and Ed- (biting lip)- We've got something- oh my god Double D, you just gotta come it's so hilarious!"

Double D ruffled his… well, hat, and turned and slowly began to make his way out of his room and down the stairs.

He was still in too much of a doze to properly watch where he was going, and it was only on the second step to the top of the stairs where Double D's foot slipped on a pile of something squishy – and he began to tumble down the stairs, taking the pile of squishiness with him.

Bang, bang, bang went Double D's body down the steps, and for every Bang Double D let out a yelp and felt horrible pain all over.

Also, something was grabbing onto him and wrapping itself around him – this huge, lime-green monster!

"AAAAHHHHH!" Double D screamed, getting covered in this green monster along with a black something and feeling something red land on his head at the very bottom step.

The final bang turned out to be Double D's head hitting the front door after he'd rolled for a bit when he reached the bottom.

He felt dizzy, fragile and bruised everywhere, plus strange because he was wearing what felt like somebody else's clothes.

The squishy pile, lime-green monster, black thing and red thing _were _that somebody else's clothes. But what had they been doing, lying on the second-to-top stair of Double D's staircase in _Double D's _house?

Double D had had enough for 2 stressful mornings. When his dizziness had cleared but he was still lying on the floor, he reached up and turned the handle on his front door, which he was still lying right next to.

There was Eddy and Ed, standing outside, pointing and laughing away insanely at something Double D couldn't even see.

When Eddy turned, he gave Double D a really weird look, but it wasn't that successful because his face was so creased up with all his laughter.

"Hey Double D, you gotta see this! But why are you on the floor? And why are you--?"

Eddy wasn't laughing anymore, but when he signaled to Ed to look at Double D (who I'm once again going to classify as a big wreck of a best friend), they burst out laughing again and Double D didn't even know why.

But then he realized why; it was because he was dressed in that _someone's _clothes. He felt so stupid, along with all the other emotions he was feeling, but felt too weak and tired to say anything.

Strangely quick, the Ed boys' laughing died down. Maybe they'd ran out of laughter?

Eddy hastily looked at Double D, then kept looking over at the thing that him and Ed had been laughing at and pointing at earlier (which hadn't been Double D).

"But Eddy, if _that's _Kevin—" Ed said, now pointing to Double D on the floor. (You got it, the clothes that had wrapped themselves around Double D had been Kevin's) "Then _who's _that?"

He turned and pointed to the person they'd been pointing and laughing at earlier, who was the _real _Kevin. Double D could now see him, and the poor fellow (well, actually, I'm not _that_ sympathetic for Kevin) was covered in beetroot puke (don't ask) and hiding behind a bush in the cul-de-sac.

"I don't know!" Eddy said, now looking pretty puzzled. "Which one's the real Kevin?"

Double D couldn't believe that Eddy and Ed couldn't tell him and Kevin apart, just because he was wearing Kevin's clothes. But they couldn't have _exactly _been Kevin's clothes, because the real Kevin was wearing _his _clothes outside.

Double D wasn't exactly chuffed about the whole situation, but even though he still felt really confused, washed-out and still hurting all over, an idea actually came into his head.

Yes, a really _good _idea.

Okay, it was totally risky, it was absolutely crazy, and he didn't really _want _to do it, but Double D felt he _had _to do it.

"And I would do anything for love… and I will do that. Yes, I _will _do that."

…


	6. That's my Mother!

Double D was once again staring into the scientifical mirror in his bedroom; but this time it was for a good reason. He looked so much better, and he felt so much better.

Well, he didn't look _that _good; because he was once again dressed up in the clothes which were identical to Kevin's, and he _never _wanted to look like Kevin.

Eddy and Ed had kept the mystery of the 2 Kevins in the back of their mind, and that morning (when they hadn't been able to tell the difference between Double D dressed up as Kevin and the actual Kevin) it had almost _completely _left their heads (or Eds) the moment Eddy thought of another pathetic plan to try and earn money.

By this time Double D had got dressed out of the Kevin clothes and into his usual everyday wear, and Eddy had been able to tell it was Double D this time and asked him to help with making the latest product to sell;

Cheese Juice. (BARF!)

No matter how disgusting the job was, Double D got on with it right away;; he didn't care about how gross the idea of squishing cheese and making it into a liquid was;; all he could think about was his brilliant plan that would let him go to the Trailer Park without being recognized (well, as Double D) whatsoever, and actually find his one & only Nazz and… _talk _to her!

It was the only thing he'd thought about all through the morning even up to now, when (as I was saying) he was once again dressed up in his own Kevin clothes and staring into his scientifical mirror.

He had his whole fabulous plan planned out; tomorrow night, he would sneak out of the house disguised as Kevin, with some money so he could catch a bus to the trailer park… and then he could search everywhere for Nazz… no matter how long it took him!

Okay… he _did _feel guilty about the idea of sneaking out of the house at night and disobeying his dear mother and father's strict rules, but his guilt didn't get in front of his plan, or his love for Nazz… It was the only way of seeing her again, or talking to her again…

Suddenly the phone started ringing downstairs.

_Hmm, must be mother calling! _

Double D thought to himself, and he turned to go out of his bedroom and downstairs.

(Y'know that part (in Chapter 4) when Double D plans to ask everyone in the street where Nazz has moved to but then he happens to hear Kevin asking her that exact question (on the tape)? Well, that was very efficient, wasn't it? Little did Double D know something _very efficient _like that was going to happen right now).

When Double D got into his hallway he answered the phone. As he predicted, it was his mother.

"**Eddward?"**

"Yes! Hello, Mother."

"**Hello dear. How are things going at home?"**

"Fine- I mean, great! Um- how's things at work?"

(The guilt of the plan was starting to sting Double D as he talked to his lovely and innocent mother on the other end of the phone, but he tried not to let it get to him and just carried on with the normal conversation).

"**It's going good, thank you dear. Have you had dinner yet?"**

"Oh!" Double D said alarmingly, suddenly realizing he may have been dawdling in the Kevin clothes a little too long. He quickly turned around and glanced at the grandfather clock at the end of the hallway. Thank goodness it was only 5:30.

"No, mother. But it's only half past five. I'll start making some vegetable soup in a few minutes."

"**Good. Did you notice the clothes I bought you last night?"**

"…What clothes?"

"**You could at least thank me, Edd. I put the clothes on the staircase this morning before I left for Work. You were still asleep in bed."**

Double D blushed. He wasn't used to being told off by his mother, and he regretted not thanking her.

But now he wanted to scream "THANK YOU!" down the phone 1 million times, because she'd just told him she was the one who bought him clothes that were coincidentally identical to Kevin's.

"Oh yes. I noticed them. They're great. Thank-you mother."

(As I said, even though Double D wanted to scream "THANK YOU!" a million times, he didn't want to turn the conversation into an excitement fest over some clothes, although he was pretty excited)

_But had his mother deliberately bought clothes identical to Kevin's? _

Double D wasn't even sure whether his mother knew who Kevin really was!

"Erm, mom—" Double D said.

"**Please call me Mother like you normally do, Eddward."**

"Yes mother." Double D replied, "It's just that—why did you buy me new clothes? And in that style? I mean, you don't always go shopping because of the time you spend at work—"

"**Oh, Eddward. I bought you those clothes for a special reason."**

_Was Edd's mother really trying to set him up to look like Kevin? He didn't dare ask, because he didn't think his mother knew Kevin, but if she did, it would've been terribly cheeky to ask anyway!_

"W-w-what special reason, mother?"

"**I just think it would be better for you if you got some proper exercise, rather than dawdling around on those dirty streets every day. I've booked you into a Dance Club."**

_What?_

"Um, a what, sorry?"

"**You're talking very strangely tonight, Eddward. Are you sure you're not coming down with something? I said I've booked you into a Street Dance Club."**

_It's not me who's going barmy, it's my mother!_

Double D thought to himself. _A street dance club? _Okay, his mother was right that it was healthy and good exercise, but it sounded totally embarrassing! Not to mention Street was _not _the style of dance he was interested in!

Little did Double D know he was about to start taking serious interest in the conversation between him and his mother.

"**It's for your own good. The Club is on every weeknight except Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, although on Saturday they do the Club in the daytime and not in the evening."**

"Oh … ok." Double D said. He didn't really know what else to say.

"**I ought to tell you where the Club's going to be held- although you're not probably going to start going until they've sorted out your membership on this Friday." **

"Well where's the Club going to take place, mother?"

"**It's in that village only about 30 minutes away from here- you know, the one with the big trailer park."**

THE EFFICIENCY BIT! Double D's dear, lovely, _wonderful _mother had _very _efficiently chose for Double D to join the Street Dance Club that went on _very _near the Trailer Park. Double D wasn't just sure whether he wanted to join the Club now;; he was REALLY sure!

And THANK GOD his mother had bought him those Kevin clothes just for wearing to the Dance Club! He could go disguised anyway!

"I'LL DO IT!" Double D shouted down the phone, letting his excitement loose a little _too _loud.

"**Goodness, Eddward! What's gotten into you this evening? Anyway, I better get back to writing this News article, because my boss is looking at me like he thinks I've been on the telephone for too long. But as you know I'll come home soon, dear. See you later. Bye!"**

"Thank-you mother." Double D replied, and still excited, "Enjoy writing the article! See you soon. Bye!"

Just as he turned to click the phone back onto the phone-cradle thingy and end the conversation, he heard the muffleness of his mum's voice coming out of the speaker-thingy again. It turned out she wanted to say some more.

"Yes, mom?" Double D asked, once again putting the phone to his ear.

"**As I said earlier, call me Mother, please. And don't forget to make your dinner, okay, Eddward?"**

"Okay mom!" Double D said, ignoring the fact he needed to call her "Mother" and saying it loud and clear to tell her he didn't need reminding how to make a vegetable soup. He turned around again to finally put the phone on the cradle-thing, but then he remembered he madly desired to ask his mother _one _more thing.

"Is there a possibility I could start this Street Dance Club tomorrow, Mother?"

"**I don't know, Eddward. As I said, they're probably not going to accept your membership until this Friday, and if you join tomorrow you'll have to go every single Monday evening, and don't you think that's a bit hectic? Also you know I don't work on Monday nights and-"**

"Oh, Mother, please! I know how badly I need to get exercise and I need to start going to this Street Dance Club _pretty _soon if I want to get healthier! And doesn't tomorrow sound like a good night to go? Monday night, it's perfect!"

"**Oh, alright Eddward. Just as long as you can prove to the Staff there how eager you are to do some dancing and they'll fit your membership in for once a week every Monday at 7'o clock. Now my Boss is really giving the evils. Goodbye Eddward!"**

"Bye, Mother!" Double D said happily, and still feeling really excited, he added, "Love you!"

Double D _finally _clicked the phone down and because he felt so successful and really happy that everything was going his way and things just kept happening that made his plans so much easier, he began to do a little dance down the hallway and into the kitchen. First he started skipping and twirling, then he leaped into the air like a ballerina. Then he decided to finish his great performance by landing whilst doing the splits.

"_OWWWCCHHH!"_

…Okay, _not _such a good idea at all. Not only had Double D not had much practice in doing the splits, but also he'd forgotten he _wasn't _a girl, and that _boys_ _were likelier to hurt themselves whilst attempting to do damned tricks like that…_


	7. The Storm & The Happenings

The clock chimed 6'o clock. Double D was ready, but the nerves were really trickling in…

It was Monday night, and the Street Dance Club was due to start in an hour. Double D was planning on leaving the house in 15 minutes, so he could catch a bus and get to the Trailer Park 15 minutes before the Club actually started.

But surprisingly, he wasn't actually _planning _to go to the Club. He was just using it as an excuse to get out of the house dressed up as Kevin so he could find Nazz somewhere out there!

But maybe he could go to the Club, too, just to check it out… as well as searching for Nazz. But talk about _embarrassing_! And as I said before, not Double D's kinda thang.

The nerves were only trickling in because he was so desperate to see Nazz. But then he was seriously worried that if he did, he would end up collapsing on the floor, puking, or once again having a terrible nervous breakdown… one thing or the other!

But then again he _had _to see her… you all know why… she was the only one he wanted…the only one for him…she was everything to him.

To stop his body from beginning to shake too much, Double D tried to relax by flopping down on his bed (he was in his bedroom once again, by the way) and insterting an old Motown tape into his tape recorder/player. He pushed the Play button and immediately a song he adored began pouring out of the small speaker.

"_Money, who needs it,_

_Let me live my life free and easy,_

_Put my toothbrush in my hand,_

_And let me be a travellin' man_

'_Cause I'm a roadrunner, baby."_

(Okay, now imagine this as a film, and the scene has now gone from Double D flopped on his bed to him saying goodbye to his Mother. The music's still playing away in the background)

Double D opened the front door of his house.

"Goodbye, Mother!" he shouted.

"Goodbye dear!" his Mother yelled back, and Double D took a nervous step outside onto the doormat.

"_I'm a road runner, baby,_

_Can't stay in one place too long,_

_I'm a road runner baby,_

_You might look at me and I'll be gone."_

Double D made his way up to the bus-stop, trying to hold his head high and be confident. Soon enough, the 92 bus to the trailer park came along and Double D got on it & paid his bus fair.

"_You can love me if you wanna,_

_But I do declare,_

_When I get restless_

_I got to move somewhere"_

The bus began to leave the cul-de-sac and although the weather was still bright and sunny, Double D could see storm clouds beginning to form in the distance. Oh dear.

"_I'm a road runner baby,_

_Anywhere's my home, _

_And love the life I live,_

_And I'm gonna live the life I love"_

As the minutes passed by and the bus moved closer and closer towards the village with the trailer park, Double D's nerves became stronger and stronger, but he was determined to do what his heart told him to.

"_Road runner, baby._

_Dont want no woman to tie me down,_

_Got to be free, baby_

_To roam around."_

Gulp! There was only about 5 minutes left until the bus would properly reach the trailer park and Double D would have to get off…

"_All my life I've been like this,_

_If you love me it's your own risk,_

_When the dust hit my shoe,_

_I got the urge to move"_

He suddenly realised he was the only one left on the bus, and everyone else had got off.

"Hey you, kid!" The bus driver suddenly yelled. The _Roadrunner _music zipped to a halt.

Double D felt alarmed and suddenly snapped out of his nervousness.

"Y-y-yes?" He replied.

"This is the last stop. You're gonna have to get off now otherwise I'll start the whole trip again!"

Double D looked out of the big bus window right next to him. Each side of the road they were on was simply covered with grass, trees and bushes. _This wasn't the Trailer Park!_

"B-but sir-" he stammered, "I think there must've been some kind of a mistake-"

"Nope!" argued the Driver. "This is the last stop. I'm sure of it. Now stop wasting my time and get off the bus!"

Poor Double D couldn't believe it. Even though the Trailer Park might not have been that far away, the last thing he'd wanted was to get off at a place he'd never been to before and a place he could easily get lost in.

Plus, as soon as he took _one _measly step outside the bus there was a loud crack of thunder and it began to rain buckets and buckets. Bet you didn't see _that _one coming!

Poor Double D was already soaked in his Kevin clothes by the time he found a tree with enough leaves to shelter him from the downpour. _What was he going to do? _He was lost. He started to panic and wondered what on earth the time was and where he could go.

Lightning streaked across the dark clouds above Double D and a few seconds later he heard another loud rumble of thunder. Although he was still frightened and didn't know where he was, the beauty of the thunderstorm calmed down his nerves and he began to feel comforted by the power of Mother Nature.

As he began to observe the lightning flashes and how frequent they were along with the rumbles of thunder, he suddenly began to concentrate on something else he could hear to the left-hand side of him.

At first it sounded like an animal making horrible noises; then as he got closer to it Double D realised it sounded more like somebody was throwing up. He now knew that he wasn't alone.

Yes;; somebody was definitely being sick somewhere amongst all the colourful bushes. Double D kept pacing along the bushy side of the road, passing a sign that said, **Meadow Entrance**.

_What a strange name for a place that looks more like a forest than a Meadow_, Double D thought to himself. When the sounds of puking got louder and Double D knew he was close to the sick person he didn't dare get any closer. He dreaded catching the deadly illness this human had, if they _did_ have gastroenteritis or some other virus with a long and boring scientifical name.

Eventually he saw the person stand up from behind a holly bush. The person was wearing a navy blue raincoat and was holding a pink umbrella in their left hand. Double D could not see the person's face behind the big pink umbrella.

The person slowly began making their way towards Double D. Double D took a few steps back, still desperately not wanting to catch the illness they could be infected with. But he wanted to ask this stranger where he could find the Trailer Park or at least how he could find a way out of this green area;; it'd be the only thing that could possibly help him.

"Um– excuse me-" he began.

The stranger suddenly stopped and made a little "Oh!" sound. The umbrella was still covering the stranger's face.

"I was wondering- if-" Double D suddenly stopped talking. That little "Oh!" had sounded _very _familiar.

There was a silence. Something strange was going on here.

Suddenly the stranger lifted up their pink umbrella. _This person hadn't been a stranger at all!_

"_Kevin?" _Nazz gasped, letting her umbrella drop to the ground. She jumped and wrapped her arms around Double D, whose mind was now completely dazzled. He couldn't think about anything. Him and Nazz just dropped to the floor.

Unlucky for Double D, _as soon as he hit the ground his head hit a very hard tree-stump, and he was immediately knocked out… Boy, he was having a hard time…_

But he'd found her.

…


	8. This may get confusing!

_OmG! I'm soooo sorry I took so long just to write this chapter, guys! I really appreciate all your great comments about the story so far, all your stories are fabulous too! In fact, I can't thank you all enough! I promise I will try and speed up with writing each chapter, I feel bad that I've kinda kept you all waiting... Anyways thanks so much for taking time to read this, and thanks tonzz for all your comments ! Here's Chapter 8!_

Double D was still unconscious and was now being carried by Nazz. Although she was weak after she'd barfed several times, she was determined to help "Kevin".

She wasn't far from the cul-de-sac now, and she knew she had to get "Kevin" into his home right away and then maybe his parents could phone a doctor or something.

The Storm had stopped, and Nazz kept on speaking to "Kevin". The vast majority of words she said Double D couldn't hear properly, and in his state he didn't understand half of them.

Meanwhile, in the cul-de-sac ...

The real Kevin was scurrying around, looking for a place to hide. The reason why? He desperately needed to hide from someone he knew, otherwise… oh, otherwise! He dreaded to think the otherwise. OTHERWISE he'd get a nasty surprise, the same surprise he had already got a few times before… and it wasn't pleasant…

But then he spotted a glimmer of light; oh, what a glimmer of light. It was there to save him!

Meanwhile, whilst Nazz is still carrying Double D, or "Kevin" …

Nazz had almost reached the cul-de-sac now. After all the running she'd done and the strain Double D's weight had put on her, she was almost completely out of breath and worn out.

Once again back to the cul-de-sac ...

The real Kevin decided to follow this beautiful glimmer of light. It was pulling him in; and it was coming from Double D's house…

The front door of Double D's house was wide open, and that's where this amazing light source was shining through.

Kevin sniggered to himself. "Now I wonder what's in here…" he muttered, thinking of a plan to sneak through the wide open front door whilst nobody was watching and find a safe place to hide away… after all, his own house had been too risky, and he could nose in Double D's property!

Little did Kevin know, this house was just as risky… perhaps even riskier! He crept up to the door, and hopped inside the house, where the beautiful light shone on his pink face, and…

Back to Nazz carrying Double D ...

"_Almost there now!" _Nazz panted.

Back to the real Kevin in the cul-de-sac ...

"Eddward? _What do you think you're doing here?" _yelled Double D's mother from the Kitchen.

_Oh God._

Kevin thought worriedly, _She's spotted me! And she actually thinks I'm her dork of a son!_

Yeah she did! Since she still didn't properly know who Kevin was and Double D had gone out dressed exactly like him, she's gonna think the real Kevin's her son, ain't she?

Kevin quickly ran to the open door so that he could get out of Edd's house, but too late. Double D's mother gently grabbed Kevin by the shoulder;

"You're meant to be out at your Dance Club, Eddward! Honestly, how can you do this? You won't be needing these clothes, then, if you can't be bothered to get some exercise!"

"_Say wha-" _Kevin said. _Thank god _he didn't properly hear Double D's mum saying he was meant to be at a Dance Club!

Before Kevin knew it, Edd's mother was pulling off his green sweater and even his black shorts, still thinking he was her son.

"_Hey, what the heck are you doing?" _Kevin exclaimed, desperately trying to drag his clothes out of Double D's mother's hands. But this just made her grip easier, and in a jiffy Kevin was just standing there, in his boxers, socks and trainers, with just his cap left on his head.

Kevin went redder than the time he'd had beetroot puke on him, and in a few seconds it was like steam was pouring out of his ears, he was so angry and humiliated.

He looked out of the door, which was right next to him, still trying to not let his anger blow, and saw Nazz running down the street with identical-to-Kevin Double D in her arms. She quickly put him on the ground outside his house (although she'd wanted it to be Kevin's) and had to run off and leave him because she'd felt barf rising after all the running she did.

Double D's mother had gone to throw Kevin's clothes (which she still thought were Double D's dancing clothes) in the washing machine, and while she was doing that Kevin nabbed the chance to go and steal Double D's clothes because they were identical to his.

Kevin stepped out onto Double D's lawn, still half-naked and as embarrassed as anything, and walked over to an unconscious DD, lying on the green grass.

"_Now I dunno where the hell you got clothes like these-" _Kevin said, as he quickly began pulling the green sweater and black shorts off Double D (whilst trying not to look at the under-garments he didn't want to see) _"But I'm takin' them, and I'm keepin' them!"_

In a matter of seconds Kevin was fully dressed again and looking just like before, and although he felt weird wearing clothes that had been on Double D, they were still identical to his own (which were in the washing machine) and he had to agree that it was so much better than being half-naked.

He then ran off, still angry and confused, but now out of the scene.

Double D was coming out of his unconsciousness. He opened his eyes, and then realized where he was when he saw his mother's face (he was now in his boxers, trainers and just red cap, btw).

"What do you think you're doing now, Eddward? What's gotten into you? How can you just go ahead and decide to skive the Dancing Club, try to ignore me talking to you and stop me from taking your clothes, _then senselessly lie on this lawn that needs a bloody trim by your father!" _

Double D had never seen his mother so angry in his life, and he didn't understand what she was talking about by saying that he'd ignored her and she'd taken the clothes off him, cus that was all Kevin's doings. But, now remembering that he _had_ missed the Dance Club, he could understand why she was angry at him for that and saying that he'd deliberately skived off it. He was now filled with guilt for disobeying his lovely & innocent mother's orders, and the guilt became so strong that he had to stand up and say sorry. He even felt like telling her the complete truth and how he had got lost on the way there anyway, and that he had only really gone there for Nazz.

He had two types of thoughts going round and round in his head right this moment: One was thoughts of guilt, the other one was "I'M BUSTED!". He was now sure that his Mother would stop him from going to the Dance Club when he hadn't even started, and he'd never be able to see his beautiful Nazz again.

_He hadn't even had the chance to talk to her!_

Double D began to wince and tremble nervously, because he was now so worried that he would be grounded from going to the Club; his Mother was looking down on him with so much anger, he was sure she was prepared to do it!

"…You sounded so determined to join this Club on the phone, Eddward." She began, "But if you hate the idea of going to it once, just _once a week…_"

Double D closed his eyes as if he was in pain, waiting for the answer he dreaded so much to come…

"...You're gonna have to start going to it _4 TIMES A WEEK! And I mean it, every time it's on_!"

Double D unclenched his eyes. He couldn't believe what his mother had just said, but now he loved her more than ever and all the guilt was immediately washed away from him;;

"-You're joking, _really?_"

"Yes, Eddward. To teach you a lesson. And you must promise me you'll go this time Eddward! _Otherwise we'll have to sort out a special 7-day dancing programme!"_

"Yes, Mother- _I promise! And 7 days? Sounds great!"_

"-But I don't even think there is a 7-day dancing programme. Just go for 4 times a week, Eddward."

"I surely will, mother. I surely will."

And with that Double D turned around and proceeded to walk to his front door, with the biggest grin you've ever seen smacked right across his face.

…


	9. There's gotta be Another Way

It was Tuesday morning, and Double D was standing in the kitchen beside his Mother, watching a plumber stuff his head (for about the 100th time) into their washing-machine to inspect it.

"I'm sorry-" he said, pulling his head back out of the machine, "-but I've tried everything. There doesn't seem to be a way I can remove these clothes without busting the water system and causing a severe leakage."

"_Deary me!_" Double D said to himself, and he quickly walked out of the kitchen to try and control his rapidly increasing anxiousness and ease his worried state.

He needed Kevin's clothes for going to the Dance Club tomorrow; but last night after his mum had stuffed them in the Washing Machine they'd became stuck right at the back of the Machine in the most awkward place you could imagine and now they couldn't be removed without causing the kitchen to flood.

He thought the plumber might've been able to remove them safely, so he could use them; but now Double D didn't have anything or anyone he could go to the Dance Club disguised as.

_He'd just have to go as himself, and get seen in the Trailer Park by the Kankers and then be totally devastated as always!_

Then he'd never want to go back;; then he'd never see Nazz again.

_Never see Nazz again? Was he kidding himself? _

He needed a plan.

…

Double D had just eaten lunch when he had decided to go out to the cul-de-sac for any plan inspirations, _or_ if he never did find any inspirations he'd just have to sit and sulk, and worry worry worry about going to the Trailer Park in just his normal clothes and black hat.

Unusually, Eddy _didn't _seem to be concocting any rubbish ideas for making money today; instead, he was playing basketball in the constant heat out of the Summer Holidays sunshine…

With Ed, of course.

"Hi, Double D." Eddy said when Double D walked over to watch his best pals trying to throw a ball in the newly-built post-with-a-basket-on-it.

"Hey Eddy. Hi Ed." Double D said rather gloomily, and he stopped and stood there to watch and see if he could think up any good ideas.

"Wanna play basket ball, Double D?" Ed asked. He seemed to be having a good time, despite the fact he himself wasn't actually the one _playing _basketball.

"No thanks, Ed." Double D sighed. He sat down next to the basketball post.

"What's up with you today?" Eddy asked, distinguishing the gloominess in Double D's voice.

"I'm okay, Eddy." Double D said, then to try and cover up the real reason he was feeling down, he quickly said, "I just have a stomach ache. That's all."

"Well get some aspirin then, Einstein-" Eddy said, and he leapt up and tried but failed to score a hoop.

"Aw, Eddy! That was _terrible_!" Ed cried.

"I know! Arrghh!" Eddy said, and through gritted teeth, "_I hate being small!"_

He angrily kicked the ball and it rolled off down to the other end of the cul-de-sac.

"No, Eddy- I mean your language is, er- terrible! You take aspirin for headaches, not stomach-aches!" Ed explained.

"Correct, Ed." Double D said, and he tried to smile at his pals, but he didn't feel like being cheerful. He decided to make an effort to think up some disguises.

"_Man, what's wrong with you?_" Eddy demanded. "You've been acting so stupid the past few days!"

Double D wasn't concentrating on what Eddy was saying. He was two busy thinking of dressing up as a pro basket-ball player, or something… or becoming a big, orange, circular ball… but none of those things would work…

"_First you have a heart attack at my house and ruin my beautiful dreams.."_

Could he dress up as anyone else other than Kevin..?

"_Then when I ask you to help with making cheese juice you just go off in a daydream yaself!"_

No, because he didn't have anyone's clothes… or identical clothes…

_What the hell was he gonna do?_

"_Why are you ignoring me?" _Eddy shouted aggressively.

Suddenly his hopeless thoughts were broken when the sound of Ed's sister's voice boomed in his ear.

"Hey Double D! Wanna come and see my hamster?" she asked, _very_ loudly.

"_That's it!_" Eddy said, finally snapping, "_I'm going_! Have fun with your girlfriend, sockhead! Me and Ed are _leaving_!"

Double D couldn't believe how offensive Eddy was acting and glared at him as he grabbed Ed by his arm and proceeded to pull him somewhere. Luckily, Eddy didn't see the glare, because he was too busy dragging Ed away.

"Don't mind those idiots, Double D!" Sarah said, with a huge grin on her face, "You can come and play with me!"

"Erm, I—" Double D stuttered, but it was too late. Sarah had already grabbed him by the wrist and was pulling him in the opposite direction that Ed & Eddy had gone, towards her and Ed's house.


	10. That Other Way

_OMG! I'm sorry that the story got off to quite a slow start, but here it is, this is the Chapter which finally lets off the beginning sparks of the sarcasm of the phrase "What A Man" like it says in the Summary (if that all makes sense)! Well, the beginning sparks begin to fly at the end of this Chapter, so read all of it to find out what goes on ! Once again thanks all of you so much! xxx _

SLAM! Went the door of Sarah's bedroom. She was so eager to spend some time with someone interesting seeing as she'd spent the whole of the morning bored and just staring at her pet hamster.

Double D was feeling pretty nervous, as he didn't like the idea of spending time alone with someone like Sarah, but luckily this had helped him to forget his worries about the next day; another reason why it felt weird to be in Sarah's bedroom was that she didn't usually come and ask for him to go to her house, seeing as she despised all 3 of the Ed boys; but this time it seemed like she needed Double D for something.

And that was correct; not only was she bored, but she needed Double D to help her.

"Edd—" she said, turning to face Double D. Double D was feeling _very_ strange at this point, because he didn't know what she was planning to do with him or _to_ him, and he didn't like the fact that she'd just called him by his proper name.

"Y-yes, Sarah?" he said, trying to put on a fake smile, but he was still feeling nervous and the heat outside had made him feel sweaty.

"Can you look at my hamster for me, Double D?" Sarah asked, grinning and batting her eyelashes. "He's been acting kinda weird ever since yesterday."

Double D's shoulders immediately dropped in a "Phew!" motion, and he no longer felt tense. Thank god Sarah didn't want him to do anything drastic or devilish like anyone would expect someone like Sarah to do.

"-Of course, Sarah. What's the problem? I mean, how's he been acting?" Double D said, after sighing with relief.

"Well-" Sarah said, looking over at her pet hamster, who was currently sprinting away on the hamster-wheel-thingy, "he's not really acting… boyish anymore. Ever since yesterday he's been liking- pretty things, and-" Sarah dramatically lowered her voice, "_-I think he's attracted to the male hamsters in my pet Magazine."_

She then turned around and looked at Double D with wide eyes and said all innocently, "…Not that boys _can't _like pretty things, or be attracted to the same gender or anything."

Double D nodded his head. "Sounds like he's just a bit on the feminine side. But I'll have a look at him, anyway."

Sarah clapped her hands as if she was excited. "_Great_!" she exclaimed, "Well, I'll leave you to it."

For some reason, she left the room. Double D expected her to stay inside seeing as this was her precious, sacred hamster he was inspecting, and he also hadn't expected her to think it was weird her hamster liked pretty things. Even if it was male, she was bound to want to dress it up in pink stuff and decorate its cage with all flowery stickers and glitter and what-not.

But she hadn't done that either; the cage was just plain and spotless with sawdust on the bottom of it, a hamster-wheel, with a bottle of water attached at the side so the hamster could drink and a bowl of food so it could eat.

Double D wondered what the hamster's name was as he went to look at it. The funny thing was, he didn't really know much how he could help Sarah just by inspecting it. She'd probably just have to put up with a butterfly/Barbie/dress-liking hamster who has a thing for hamsters of the same sex. And what was the problem with that? There couldn't have been anything seriously wrong with the hamster!

But there was something wrong with it. And Double D was about to find out just what…

The hamster was continuing to sprint on its wheel when all of a sudden it started speeding up and things became too fast for the little rodent.

"Oh my goodness!" Double D said, staring at the unusual sight. "_It is not possible for hamsters to run at such a speed! Stop, stop!_"

He decided the only way he could slow it down was by full-stopping the wheel with his hand. And that's exactly what he did.

Too bad the technique had made the hamster fly off the wheel and soar through the air _right towards Double D_!

"--Oh no!" Double D yelped.

Luckily, the hamster had a safe landing, and that's what Double D thought was most important. The rodent landed on the chest of Double D's t-shirt, and it hung onto the fabrics for dear life.

"There, there, little fella," Double D said rather jokingly, "my shirt is no place for you to stay. You belong back in your cage. Now come on, let's get you-"

Double D had only just managed to unhook the hamster's claws out of his shirt and was now staring at something he couldn't believe.

"—oh my gosh…."

What he was holding was not a male whatsoever. _He_ was in fact a _she!_

No wonder Sarah thought "he" had been acting peculiar!

Double D quickly put the female hamster back in the cage. He didn't know what to tell Sarah and he wondered why the hell she hadn't realized it was a girl in the first place. But then again, why had it only started _acting_ like a girl just the day before?

Double D heard footsteps coming upstairs. He quickly began to dash out of her room so that he could stop her in her tracks, ask a few questions and tell her things _not_ to do that would help reveal her hamster was a she and not a he. After all, even though he didn't particularly like her, he didn't want her getting a shock.

Sarah had only just got to the top of the staircase with a glass of milk when Double D had to skid to a halt before he ended up toppling over her;;

"Now, Sarah-" he started gabbling, "are you _sure_ that your hamster's a male?"

"Yeah, what's with all the stress, Double D? I got him when the Summer Holidays started and I know he's a boy." Sarah said, sipping the milk. "So, why's he acting so strangely, Double D?"

Double D couldn't think of what to say next.

"—Erm, have you put anything in his food recently?" he suddenly spat out, "like—anything, weird?"

"No. Of course I haven't." Sarah gave him a weird look. "Can you move out of the way, please, Double D? I wanna get through to my room so I can have a look at him."

Sarah tried getting past Double D and through the doorway to her room, but Double D quickly moved and blocked the way through to the room by pretending to relax and lean his elbow against the doorjamb.

"I need to ask you some questions first—" he said, trying not to sound too nervous; "-well you know when he started acting feminine?"

"_Yes.._" Sarah said, crossing her arms and feeling frustrated.

"It was yesterday, right?"

"_Yes.._"

"Well did you feed him anything then? Like, anything that he'd never eaten since you bought him?"

Sarah suddenly paused like she was thinking. _"Well…"_ she began, then she suddenly grabbed Double D by the shoulders, and started pushing him forwards into her room. With her own force she even eventually managed to sit him down on her bed. Of course, Double D was suffering from the shock and the strength of a girl quite younger and smaller than him.

She then looked at him sternly and crossed her arms. Double D now knew Sarah's rules weren't to be disobeyed and so he stayed put on her bed.

"_Yesterday_ Jerry was sick…" she began to explain, and she began to pace around bossily as she told the story. Double D acknowledged it was the hamster she called Jerry. "Poor baby, he had the sniffles. _And _me and Jimmy wanted to make him feel better, so we looked in an old Remedies book we found on the street not that long ago. We found a cure for the sniffles, _but_ we needed ingredients to make the medicine. These ingredients included soil fertilizer, crushed rose petals _and_ 7 drops of champagne with sugar dissolved in it. We discovered that Rolf had some rose bushes just outside his house, so we picked a rosebud off there, collected the petals _and_ crushed them using my mom and dad's pestly-thing. _Then _me & Jimmy got some champagne from the cupboard in our basement and sprinkled some sugar we'd found in the sugarcanes also outside Rolf's house into _7 _drops of the stuff. Then we put the crushed rose petals into the mixture, and decided we weren't going to be using the fertilizer, because it might hurt my poor baby Jerry, and anyway only Eddy has really good fertilizer, you'd remember… _but _cus we didn't want to use _Eddy's _fertilizer, we didn't put any in the mixture. So it was just the crushed rose petals, the champagne, and the sugar… we put it all in Jerry's sippy-bottle, and he drank it all up…"

By this point Double D was recovering from the nerves and shock of Sarah's sudden attitude change, and instead he was paying great attention to what she was saying. By this time Sarah was also still walking across the room while she was talking, and she now had her back turned to Double D. But then he got another great shock when she turned 180 degrees…

"…_AND THAT'S WHEN HE STARTED ACTING LIKE A GIRL!"_

Double D jumped in fright. He couldn't remember the last time Sarah had shouted _that _loudly. But he wasn't worried anymore. His mind was now focused on _one_ thing;

"…So you think that medicine was the thing that made his gender—I mean, made him act like the opposite gender?" he asked.

"Well, it might've had something to do with it. You looked at him, you should know. Well, I can get used to it. I'm pretty tired." Sarah yawned, "You should really get off my bed and go."

"-Are you sure?" Double D said, getting up, one eyebrow cocked. He was pretty surprised she was actually letting him leave, after how she'd treated him.

"Yeah.." Sarah said, yawning again. She slumped down on her bed and picked something off the floor. It looked like an old, brown book.

"Here-" she said, handing it to Double D. "If I can't get used to my hamster being like that you can keep looking for some other way I can make him .. more like him."

"So that's the remedy booklet?" Double D asked.

"Yeah. Just take it and go."

Double D grabbed the booklet, and stared at it for a few seconds.

Was this really the way forward?

Was he going to do it?

Was he willing to change an important part of him just so that he could safely see Nazz again?

_And did it work with humans as well as hamsters…? _


	11. What's Required

Double D clunked the champagne bottle which sized as a half-bottle on his desk in his bedroom. Unfortunately, there wasn't that much champagne left in the bottle; his dear Mother and Father must have drank quite a lot of it at their last party/celebration.

He didn't even know his parents had been that keen on champagne; but he was quite glad, 'cus otherwise he wouldn't have any to make this incredible "medicine".

He just needed rose petals and some sugar now; his parents had ran out of sugar at home so he was planning on sneaking out like Sarah & Jimmy did and getting some rosebuds and sugarcanes. But what about the soil fertilizer? Double D had calculated that the only reason why the fertilizer was meant to be part of the mixture was because without it, the male planning on transforming himself into a female's hair wouldn't grow to female length; (as in longer than dead short, if ya know what I mean, unless the male already had quite long, recognizable as feminine-length hair). And Double D didn't have much hair, just a few black strands… and his, y'know, _thing_.

Of course, he hadn't remembered totally all the ingredients from what Sarah had told him; he'd used the Remedy book she gave him. God, whoever created that book and put a remedy for the sniffles which was really a potion to change male into female must've been crazy!! But of course, Double D loved whoever the author was. So much. Almost like the stars above! (Just a phrase I use).

Another of course was that his Mother & Father were out shopping and looking for another washing machine, and that's what had given him the opportunity to get the potion or "medicine" stuff together while they were out. Double D's parents didn't dare use the washing machine or try and get Kevin's clothes out of it, so they decided they'd have to get a new one.

One more of course; Double D didn't care about the Kevin clothes anymore. No surree. This potion was here to save him, it was going to let him go to the Club without being recognized as Double D, it was going to let him see Nazz again, _it was going to change his life forever!!!_

But what if the potion wore off after like, an hour or so? But then again, Sarah's hamster had stayed female for a whole day, and that was great. But he couldn't let anyone find out his plans; not _anyone_. Ever. He had his plans carefully constructed onto about 5 different sheets of paper; these were his own-

_Private Investigations._

(Here we go again, another song in the background – I'll tell you the last song was called Roadrunner by Junior Walker and The All Stars.)

Private Investigations – Dire Straits

(_Beginning Guitar Solo_)

Double D collected all 5 sheets of his plans together, and checked the clock on his wall. It was 2:30; his parents were planning on getting back in half an hour.

He stuffed the plans into his pocket so that he could read them whenever he needed to refresh his memory about what he was planning on doing, and also the small pot of the fertilizer, which he'd found in his old closet containing items that were used in the past by him, Ed and Eddy, on all their wild adventures.. He then fished in a corner of his room for an old rucksack he'd left there weeks ago, which he could put the rosebuds and sugarcane in.

…And he was out of the door.

_It's a mystery to me - the game commences  
for the usual fee - plus expenses  
confidential information - it's in the diary  
this is my investigation - it's not a public inquiry_

Double D was really glad to see that no-one was playing outside when he unlocked the front door; in fact, the cul-de-sac was so quiet and deserted it was scary. Double D decided he wouldn't be that surprised if he saw some tumbleweed, well, _tumble_ by.

This was the perfect moment. No-one was there to spot him messing around about Rolf's house suspiciously, but all that Double D hoped now was that Rolf was out or he _couldn't _see him from a window in his house.

Double D walked over near to the road which lead out of the cul-de-sac, which luckily Rolf's house was near to. Double D acted if he was leaving the cul-de-sac to somewhere else, and began shuffling his feet and whistled while he walked. He had a quick look over at a window in Rolf's house.

_I go checking out the reports - digging up the dirt  
you get to meet all sorts in this line of work  
treachery and treason - there's always an excuse for it  
and when I find the reason I still can't get used to it_

Double D could see a green wall of sugarcane and a healthy-looking rosebush from where he was standing. He was now making his way over to them, as all the lights in Rolf's house were off; which meant Rolf and his parents must've been out.

The rosebush was just outside Rolf's fence; as he got closer to it, Double D could just see over the top of the bits of wood splintering off the fence and into Rolf's garden. There was the usual; Victor, the goat, was strapped to a leash in the garden, and Edd could see Rolf's pig along with his many chickens. He bent down to pick off 2 rosebuds.

_And what have you got at the end of the day?  
what have you got to take away?  
a bottle of whisky and a new set of lies  
blinds on the windows and a pain behind the eyes..._

Just as Double D began to tug away at a few reeds of sugarcane in front of him, he noticed something else was pulling them in the opposite direction. Some reeds were trapped through a hole in Rolf's fence; and something kept tugging them from the other side. Double D's heart jumped. The music stopped. Was it Rolf?

But after a few moments of wrestling for canes on both sides of the fence, Double D saw a large, pink nose pop through the hole in which some of the reeds had been poking through. This amusing sight was accompanied by recognizable oinking.

_Phew_, Double D thought, whilst wiping his brow and giggling to himself at the silly thought of Rolf possibly being his own pig. _That's probably the reason the sugar cane is there, to nourish the animals!_

As he got up he suddenly felt something snag on his clothing. He had been too close to the rose bush; Double D had a quick check to see if anything had been ripped, but luckily he couldn't find any tears in his trousers, rucksack or shirt.

Double D placed the sugar canes and rosebuds in his old rucksack; his work here was done. Now the only problem was trying to get away from Rolf's house in time before Rolf and his family saw him near the fence and wondered what was going on; and they were trekking along the concrete of the cul-de-sac and coming right towards him, _now!_

He quickly crammed his old and tatty rucksack on his back and tried his best to walk as fast as he could away from the suspicion zone and back towards his own house. He felt his face violently flush red when he suddenly heard Rolf's mother calling his name.

_Oh god, they saw me! _he thought. He continued to walk on, pretending he couldn't hear her; but it was too late. Rolf's mother had suddenly stopped him and she was now standing directly in front of him.

"Wait a second, Eddward!" Rolf's mother said, putting her hand on Double D's shoulder. Surprisingly she didn't sound cross or suspicious at all. "Are you okay, darling? You look a little flushed."

Rolf and his dad came over to join them.

"Why hello, Ed boy!" Rolf said with a smile, his usual greeting. He then put his hand on Double D's other shoulder. "Is your mother home, Ed boy?"

Double D didn't know what to say. He was feeling pretty flummoxed right now, mainly because he thought Rolf and his family had seen him over by their fence and that they would be angry with him, but partly because he also had the weight of five fingers and a palm on both of his shoulders. They also seemed to ask some strange questions.

"Uhhmm-yes!" Double D lied, "And she wants me to be back home now, really. That's why I'm in a slight hurry-"

"Ohhh!" Rolf's mother spoke once again in her foreign accent. Her hand had now moved down and was gripping Double D's arm affectionately. "Well if you ever desire any help or you would just like to come round for a light snack sometime Eddward, all you need to do is ask!"

"Sure, Ed boy!" Rolf said, and he patted Double D on his back. "We shall now lead you back home."

And they did, with Rolf's mother's left hand visiting its 3rd location that day; around both Double D's shoulders, sitting on his left shoulder where Rolf's hand had been but was now on his back.

They walked together until they were just a few centimeters away from knocking themselves out on the hard and polished wood of Double D's front door, and then Rolf and his mother removed their hands from Double D's body and turned them into waving gestures, along with Rolf's dad, who'd stayed silent throughout the whole event.

"See you soon, Eddward darling!" cried Rolf's mother, a massive grin smacked across her face, just like her son.

"Indeed, Ed boy! See you around the cul-de-sac!"

They turned and left, and Double D immediately grabbed his house key out of his pocket and rammed it into the golden keyhole right in front of him. He opened the door as far as it would go before it hit his face or his knobbly knees, and he quickly jumped inside.

He slammed the door behind him and leant his body against it. He slipped right down it until he was sitting on his cream hall carpet, releasing his flummoxedness and heaving a sigh of relief. He was so happy he'd got the ingredients safely without Rolf's family seeing him and suspecting anything; but the thing that mattered the most to him was that he'd actually got them. All of them. Every single one of the ingredients for the mixture.

_But for some reason, at the very bottom of his gut, Double D couldn't help but feel like he'd left something behind…_


	12. Time For A Change

_Hiya everyone!! Just wanna say hey & tackles back to Fellow Dork xDD - it's good to hear from you again, too! Thanks you guys! _

_Onto Chappie 12!  
_

It was 10:00pm. Both of Double D's parents had already gone to bed and whilst he was meant to be asleep he was staring out of his window at the stars.

He couldn't think about anything except what he was actually planning to do; to really drink this potion he'd made and actually transform himself into the opposite gender just so he could see the one he knew he loved safely. Now his obsessed thoughts had got him to the point where he was wondering if he should really go ahead with the idea or not…

When he had began to mix all the ingredients together for the 'medicine' he realized that specific _thing_ he had left behind had actually been the soil fertilizer; it must have dropped out of his pocket somewhere and somehow he hadn't realized it; there hadn't been much left in the closet, either, so the only idea Double D could turn to was to use one of his mum's old wigs to represent his female hair until he could get some more fertilizer and try and find the fertilizer he had lost outside.

_The great meteor shower,_ Double D thought to himself whilst he gazed at the many twinkling sights in front of him, trying his best to change the subject in his mind to at least one other topic, _should come around mid August, like it does every annum. And I shall be there to view it, this time, like every time…_

Suddenly Double D began to hear faint laughter somewhere in the distance; really familiar laughter. But it wasn't until it got much louder that Double D realized the laughter wasn't coming from outside his window or anywhere around him; the laughter was inside his own head.

As the giggles went on pictures began to appear in Double D's mind with them; pictures of memories that used to be. Memories of talking with Nazz or simply being around her whilst trying to hold his nerves steady, memories of the few times he'd actually had a proper conversation with her, and yes, few, but Double D still cherished these memories more than any others he could think of. And her voice, her beautiful voice… And her laughter.

Double D could feel tears welling up in his eyes as her face continued to show up in his brain and memory, and for the last time she let off a heavenly giggle and Double D was overcome with emotions he couldn't describe; tears began streaming down his face, and as he began to splutter he couldn't help but reach for the object nearest to him… the potion.

He couldn't take it any longer; he threw back his head, opened up his mouth and chugged the contents of the small glass down his throat, swallowing and tasting the 7 drops of sweet, sugary alcohol, and feeling the crushed rose petals still on his tongue. He gathered up the saliva he had whilst chewing them, and swallowed them too whilst wiping his mouth.

The most amazing sensation gripped him; one second, his mouth and insides were going crazy with all these clashing tastes – his tears had suddenly stopped altogether and he felt a mixture between hyper and severely drunk, and the next second he felt an incredible rush traveling at the speed of light up his synapses right from his toes and up into his brain – straight after that his metabolic rate began to drop fast, slowing right down, down, down, until he decided it was time to…zzzz… go to bed.

He dropped backwards straight onto his duvet, and immediately snored straight off to sleep without thinking a second thought; he'd even left his bedroom window open, and this is where anyone could spy on little Eddy, who was staring out of his own window across on the other side of the cul-de-sac.

Eddy took a deep sigh, and it whistled away in the calm breeze of the wind outside as he looked down and stared at a framed photo on his windowsill of him and Double D with their arms around each other, Eddy messing around and giving the bunny ears above Double D's head.

Eddy nearly felt like crying himself. He took a hard and longer look at the picture and demanded an answer.

"What's going on with you, Double D?" he asked it, beginning to feel angry. When it wouldn't reply after a few seconds, Eddy became so frustrated he knocked it onto his bedroom floor. The delicate glass over the photo smashed.

"Why won't you tell me what you're doing?!" Eddy cried, beginning to feel like crushing the photo further into the ground. _"WHAT ARE YOU HIDING???"_

He lay down on his own bed and buried his head into his purple pillow, and began to cry himself to sleep…

Bruce Springsteen – Countin' On A Miracle

(Beginning Guitar Solo)

_(…Continues on the next Chapter!)_


	13. A Miracle Happened!

(Beginning Guitar Solo still going on)

The sun began to rise outside Eddy's window, flooding the cul-de-sac with light. The light could not yet reach his eyes, as he still had them buried deep into his pillow.

Meanwhile… Double D was laying on his side on his own bed, nearly in the same position as he had fell asleep in… and boy, had it been an amazing, wonderful, deep sleep… probably the best he'd ever had in his entire life.

And now the sun was beaming through his still-open window, Double D felt the heat of the yellow rays on his eyelids and slowly opened them. He blinked for a few seconds, and then began to get up off his duvet…

…_It's a fairytale so tragic  
There's no prince to break the spell  
I don't believe in magic  
But for you I will, yeah for you I will  
If I'm a fool, I'll be a fool  
Darlin' for you_

He wandered around his room for a few seconds, still in a slight daze, and then stopped dead right in front of his scientifical mirror… _oh…my…god._ He thought.

_I'm countin' on a miracle  
Baby I'm countin' on a miracle  
Darlin' I'm countin' on a miracle  
To come through…_

His jaw had completely dropped; for a moment he couldn't even breathe. He was just… how can I even put it?

He was _flabbergasted. Completely amazed. Gobsmacked. And not to mention: one hundred percent _**ecstatic**!!!

Right before his two very own eyes; _well_, not even did they seem familiar to him anymore… his dark lashes had grown long and curved like beautiful spider legs, and his cheek bones had become higher… his whole face was now carved to look so elegantly feminine he could squeal with the excitement!!!

And he hadn't even looked down yet… but he already knew what was coming next!

He gasped when he discovered two, rather small, rounded objects just underneath the fabric of his pyjama top… what was more, as he turned on his side, it was clear he had gained a much more womanly shape; his body was now curvy and gorgeous, and even his bum (which was flat before) looked improved.

(_Don't worry, I'm not going to describe the most important part that had changed… you know about it anyways!)_

Double D felt over the moon. _No, _make that PLUTO! – Or even further, if possible.

_It was only when Double D began to dance with joy (and of course, try out some funky moves with his new body) that he began to hear someone knocking on his (make that now HER!) bedroom door…_


	14. What Should I Wear On This Fine Day?

* * *

**OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!**

**It's been a WHOLE YEAR. A whole year since I last updated this story, I tell you!**

**Omg. I can't actually believe it!**

**So I've decided finally to update it, with Chapter 14. Finally!**

**And this time I'm gonna tell y'all something: This time, THIS TIME I am gonna try and update it more, although I might not always be able to that often cus of schoolwork and stuff.. But omg! If I go off for a year again, I give you all permission to.. I dunno.. just do something terrible to punish me!**

**And you all have permission to do that now, as I all kept you waiting so long & i know i said i wouldn't... omggg.. I'M SO SORRY!!! You have the permission to shout at me, or call me horrible names! Or whatever.**

**Anyways, here's chapter 14, it took a whole year to write (xD) hope you enjoy it, although you may have to read the whole story again to remember what's going on, rofl!**

* * *

Double D quickly glanced all around his room to find the place best for hiding his now female body - after a few seconds his eyes settled on his bed and he immediately jumped underneath the quilt, even hiding his transformed, feminine face.

"Come in!" he coughed, from underneath the sheets. Wow – even his voice sounded softer and higher-pitched!

His door opened and, as he'd expected, in came his Mother.

"Good morning, Eddward." She said, establishing the 14-year-old lump under the duvet.

"Morning, mother…" Double D replied, and, to make up an excuse for why he wasn't showing his face, added, "just inspecting my toes. You really wouldn't want to see them, mother, I think I have a case of athlete's foot…" he suddenly realized he was speaking in his female voice and began to make fake coughing noises, pretending it was just a cold. "-cough-sorry mother, I have a bit of a bad chest too.."

Double D's mother gasped. "Really, Eddward? Dear, why didn't you tell me you had feet problems? We've got some cream downstairs, would you like me to go and get it? And also, you sound like you need some medicine!"

Double D thought for a second whether he'd like her to do that or not, and although he didn't really have athlete's foot, or a cough, decided on… (in a voice he made artificially gravelly)..

"Yes, mother. Thank you for your consideration, as usual!"

As soon as she'd closed the door to his bedroom, Double D lifted his sweating face from under his quilt and began to look for ways in which he could hide his feminine self from his mother.

Baggy clothes! These could easily disguise the new curves and ahem, boobs, and restore the look of flatness and the unexciting male figure he'd had previously. What about his face, though..?

Double D decided he'd try and sort that out afterwards, and rushed over to his wardrobe where he could find the baggy beige jogging bottoms he'd had on yesterday and an old grey sweater that'd been one size too big for him.

But there was something missing from his morning routine – before he could put these clothes on, he needed an extra good cleaning, a good Double D cleansing… a shower!

But here was the tricky thing… how was he gonna get across the landing to the bathroom without mother or father happening to see him, in this girlish state? He couldn't let that happen, so his best idea was to bend down to the keyhole he'd always had punched through his bedroom door, and wait, and see when the time was right…

Clothes in one hand, Double D perched on the floor and watched with one beady, long-lashed eye through the hole, onto the lit-up landing. His parent's bedroom door was still closed, and that could mean there was still somebody in there, so now wasn't the best time.

But then it opened, and out walked Double D's father, fully clothed and going to have breakfast downstairs, where he would also meet Double D's mother, as that was where she was now, searching for athlete's foot cream and cough medicine for a foot disease and a cold that didn't really exist. Muahahaha!

As soon as his dad had made his way down the stairs, Double D threw his bedroom door open and skipped across the landing, getting into the bathroom with his baggy clothes in tow and hurriedly slamming the door behind him.

He sighed with relief.

_Now for this bit_… he thought, and took a deep breath as he began to take off his pyjamas.

It was incredible… this definitely _had_ to be the moment in time where Double D was amazed by science the most. The most he'd ever been in his whole, entire life.

One potion. Just _one_ simple potion with a few measly ingredients had completely transformed him… it was like Double D hadn't believed in magic until this day.

Even after several minutes he was still standing there in amazement, just like he had done with his pyjamas _on_, but the silence and all his 'thank-you science!' thoughts were broken by someone shouting his name and then knocking on the bathroom door.

"Eddward! _Eddward_!" his mother called from outside, "Are you in there? I've got your treatments here..."

That's when Double D remembered he'd actually left the bathroom door _open._

_Shoot!_, he thought, _Baaaad mistake.._

And as the handle began to turn, the best place he could think to hide in was the actual shower. So he made a run for it, and got there just in time. The water clicked on, and Double D was overwhelmed by the warm shower falling upon him. Luckily, the shower doors were covered with flowery patterns, so when his mum entered, it was no problem.

"Oh, Eddward, you're having a shower as usual! That's good. Do have a shower, but remember, you _must_ take your medicine _and_ apply your foot cream afterwards.. I'll just put them here.."

"-Okay, I will, thanks mom!" Double D replied, doing the low-voice trick again.

"-Mother, Eddward." His mom corrected him disapprovingly as she always did, and then left.

As soon as Double D finished his wonderous showering for the first time ever in his new body, he realized this was the first morning in the past few days that he'd actually felt this free, this… wonderful.

He hummed and hopped around happily as he toweled himself, and then put the baggy beige tracksuit bottoms on for the second time that week. Perfect – looking in the mirror, Double D's bum was once again flat and boyish.

Now for the sweater – would that disguise those two, new round lumps that Double D was _still_ finding hard to get used to..?

Actually, it didn't. But maybe it was just the bathroom mirror? After all, it was a bit old and battered. But even when Double D quickly scrammed out of the bathroom and went back into his own room to look into his own scientifical mirror, the lumps were still visible. Oh no… he hadn't realized they were _that_ big!

What was that thing called that girls wear? Rar? Bar? _Bra..? _No. The only woman in the house was Double D's mother, and he was sure hers would be… well… _too big._

_Not right now_, Double D thought to himself, and tried to improvise. He glanced around, and came across a blue zip-up hoodie lying down by the side of his bed. He'd worn it just the other day.

_A-ha.._ was Double D's new thought, as he picked up the hoodie and carefully put it on over the grey sweater.

This was perfect – it was thick enough to cover the ahem, features he'd most wanted to cover, and when he tried putting the hood up over his hat he smiled to himself.

Yeah, the hood looked slightly pointy, but the insides of it left a slight shadow on his face and somehow managed to sculpt it into looking more like it had done before, more masculine... once again, thank-you science!

This was it. Even though Double D had yet to find out how long it was until or whether he actually _could _become a boy again, he was too excited to think about that right now.

He fished in his right-hand pocket, and pulled out the pages of plans or ahem, Private Investigations he'd written the previous night, and smiled once again at them.

"-Sorry, I'm gonna do this _my way_…"

And as he turned to leave, now all dressed up and ready to go, he took a quick swivel and chucked the pages in his corner trashcan.

He didn't need anything to help him now…

_Except maybe a wig..?_


	15. Always Coca Cola

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**CHAPTER 15!**

**Hi to Fellow Dork! It's great to hear from you again , glad to see you're still on Fanfiction :)! Here's the update you've been waiting for (same for anyone else who reads What A Man :D thankyyooo!)**

* * *

Breakfast was easy. By the time he got downstairs, Double D's mother was already packing her stuff, ready to start a brand new day at the GoAmerica! Magazine Journalism & Editing office, the place where she worked some weekdays and on weekends even in Summer Vacation, replying to any poor souls who wrote or sent endless emails to The Problem Pages, and working on some News Articles.

Whatever she asked her son, including why on earth was he wearing so many items of clothing when it was the middle of summer, and why his hood was up, Double D would just fake a few coughs, try his best to lower the pitch of his voice, and then reply, "Remember, dear mother, I have a nasty cold developing. I want to keep as wrapped up as I can."

And as this was the last thing Double D could say to his dear mother before she had to leave, she picked up her bags, and leant forward to kiss her son on the cheek, whilst responding to his last statement;

"Well, don't wrap yourself up too much. You don't want to overheat."

She then pecked him like she always did before she went to work, and looked at him with a rather odd expression.

"-Have you shaved?"

_So even my cheeks are smoother, _Double D thought, then had to come up with a believable response.

"..Ye-"

His mother suddenly interrupted, letting out a small laugh.

"I'm gonna tell your father before I go.." she said, smirking, "he'll be proud."

And that's when she turned and left. Once the kitchen door closed, Double D dropped his spoon from his right hand, dropped his hood, and began to feel his cheeks with both hands. They actually did feel smoother – no budding hairs to do with masculine puberty or anything like that. Just softness all around his face.

But he immediately dropped his hands and his hood shot back up into place when he saw the handle of the kitchen door beginning to move.

His father entered. He was always off work on Wednesdays, whether it be Summer Vacation or not.

"You planning on doing anything today, son?" he asked, smiling and coming to sit at the table with Double D.

Double D grumbled, "_Not especially.._" but then he remembered something that _was_ important that night – what he'd gone through this whole female malarkey for..

_The Street Dance Club._ It wasn't on til seven, though, so Double D didn't have to leave until six pm. He was praying he'd see Nazz again this time, but she wouldn't be barfing, and he wouldn't be knocked out again… and maybe he'd actually get to the Trailer Park this time? Of course, the dance club was still just an excuse to see her… "..until 6'oclock. That's when the street dance club starts."

"Well even though you might not be feeling good, son, if you're not doing anything else, I was wondering if you'd like to come to the local Science Fair with me? It's on at 2pm, and it's one of those annual ones that you love." Double D's father suggested in a friendly manner.

In the back of his mind, Double D had remembered that the annual Science Fair had been coming up. He'd been looking forward to it as always, and sometimes even entered for himself, but now he wasn't so sure – what if there were people there that he knew, and they saw him like this? He already looked pretty odd. But what the hell, not even half of the people in the cul-de-sac or outside were as interested in science as he was, so it was unlikely any of them would turn up.

**2PM:**

Double D and his father were stood observing a plant experiment to do with photosynthesis, and which one out of three grown in different conditions had managed to produce the most glucose or whatever. Double D didn't find this one too interesting: he'd already studied photosynthesis at home and in school, and even done his own experiment with different plants. He uttered to his father that they should consider looking at the next experiment. Luckily, nobody at all had noticed throughout the whole day he was now female, even his own father. He felt quite proud of himself, 'cus he'd been so good at covering things up (hahaha, not just in _that_ way!)

They were in the Biology section of the Science fair, and the next experiment was an antfarm, just like the one Double D had at home. Of course, as he already knew all there was to know about ants, this failed to interest him. But then another experiment caught his eye – a rather young-looking girl was standing behind a table covered with about 30 or more plastic cups, filled with what looked like coca cola. _Hmm_, Double D thought, _intriguing_, and began to approach the girl's table. His father followed shortly.

"Hey!" the girl said enthusiastically, beaming as Double D and his father went up to her.

"Ahh, what is this experiment-" Double D's father began, only to be interrupted by the bubbly experiment-owner who looked about 10 years old.

"-I betcha wondering what this experiment's _all about_!" she said, pointlessly, as DD's dad was about to ask anyway. "Well, my grandma and I decided to see how caffeine can affect people-" _well she's obviously had too much_, Double D thought inbetween her words, "but grandma's at the, _you know what _at the moment- _anyway_, so we've mixed up _allllll_ these cups of cola and we're gonna ask people to drink 'em, then do a memory test to see how much they remember, then do another one 15 minutes later, and scientists say people will be able to remember _more_ later if they drink caffeine!"

Double D and his father were suddenly taken very aback when the girl did a very sharp intake of breath, and then carried on talking, still beaming ecstatically.

"So ya wanna drink some cola?"

"Yeah, sure!" Double D's father said, and Double D smiled to show he wanted to do this experiment too.

"Okay.." the 10-year-old said, placing her hands out and waving them over all the cups, "Now pick one! _Any one!_"

_Hmm…_ Double D thought, as he looked down and studied the plastic cups carefully, _what will I get, caffeine, or non-caffeine?_

"-You can close your eyes if you want to!" the girl squealed, getting extremely excited just because two people were trying out her experiment. They must've been the first!

Double D's hand made its own way over the numerous cups filled with cola, til eventually it was drawn to a single bubbly cup. He picked it up, knowing that the only affect it could have on him if it was caffeinated would be a little hyperness and would make him a bit more aware of his surroundings.

Little did he know that it would have a much bigger effect than just that…

As soon as the tip of the cup touched his lips and the slightest bit of coke began to trickle into his mouth, immediately Double D's questions were answered. _When, and how would he turn back into a male? _

The first answer was now. And how? By drinking coke. Once it had got down his throat and into the pit of his stomach, he felt exactly what he'd felt when he'd drank the female-transforming potion, except most of it was in reverse; this time, his synapses lit up from the crown of his head down to his toes, and he didn't suddenly feel sleepy, he felt very much alive.

And another reason for that was that he'd made a new discovery – how he could transform from being male to female, or female to male. Anyhow, he was a happy boy today!


End file.
